Allow me to paint the scene: you are in the back seat of your Uber. You check your phone. 10 minutes later, you look up to see that the driver is looking down. “Oh, he’s just checking his map…” you think. NOT SO! You notice the reflection in the window of the screen of his cell phone – it doesn’t look like any map you’ve seen. You look closer. It is not a map – in fact, he is playing a game. And I’m not talking about candy crush, or Destroy My Fort or some other bullshit cell phone game that at least seems like it may have some digital significance. I’m talking about Parcheesi! Yes, fucking Parcheesi. So, in disbelief you shift to the middle seat to be able to full assess the situation – this is easy because there are no seatbelts in the back seat to keep you confined to any single seat. It’s worse than you could have ever imagined.

               You see his seat in nearly full recline, his left foot is propped up on the dashboard next to the steering wheel. His right foot buried on the floor, but nowhere close to the brake pedal. In his left hand is a cell phone with a very active game of Parcheesi – hopefully he is winning. You look to the right hand – you see that it is in his lap, and HOLDING ANOTHER CELL PHONE!!  This one seems to have a map displayed on it, so at least we can rest assured that he has a sense of direction. Upon further examination, you can see that he has exactly one pinky attached to the bottom of the steering wheel. So that’s it. For the past ten minutes your entire life has been in this man’s absent-minded pinky finger.

               So, you do what any rational human would do, you say a prayer and then yell at him to put his phone down. He agrees, but you notice continues frequently checking down into his lap. Yes, his game of Parcheesi is still going on. You’ve succeeded in increasing his road awareness from 15% to 30%. Congratulations. I hope you arrive safely.

               It was this laissez faire attitude towards life and risk of vehicular manslaughter that led me to imagine this painting – probably during one of my mental escapes to a happier and safer place when I was on my way to a restaurant. Or to my death. Who can ever know?